SOLDIERS' SACRIFICES PUT WINS, LOSSES IN PERSPECTIVE

MARTIN FENNELLY
December 29, 2004

Pat Tillman died last April on a mountain ridge in Afghanistan. He was there by choice, a choice that seems remarkable even now, though thousands have made it. We just don't know their names.

The Arizona Cardinals, Tillman's last football team, host the Bucs on Sunday. It's the final game of the season. Both clubs are going nowhere, but nowhere seems cozy next to an Afghan mountain ridge.

It's hard to talk about lost seasons this Sunday. What was lost, anyway? What does it really matter?

Those are questions Pat Tillman asked himself after 9/11. His answers led him away from the Arizona defensive backfield, from fame and millions, to that ridge. Records show the U.S. Army Ranger fought bravely. They also show he died from friendly fire, with the details hidden by the military for months. It speaks to a madness - but diminishes Tillman not at all.

It's easy to link football with combat. An honest mistake. Bucs coach Jon Gruden recently made it while discussing his team:

"We've got to continue to get battle ready and win some more battles so we can put ourselves in position to go to the playoffs and win the war."

What war?

There is Pat Tillman.

And all the other Pat Tillmans.

Silenced Stories

As of Tuesday, 1,324 American soldiers had died in the war in Iraq and 9,981 had been wounded. Sixty-one of the dead are from Florida. Each has a story that never will be completely told.

"They're all Pat Tillman to somebody," said Alex Garwood, Tillman's brother-in- law and executive director of the Pat Tillman Foundation. "They all had stories, not just Pat. And now they're unfinished."

The locals have names. Andrew Julian Aviles, Dennis J. Boles, Christopher R. Cobb and Wilbert Davis. Joshua W. Dickinson, Scott E. Dougherty, Paul C. Mardis Jr. and Michael B. Quinn. Cody J. Orr, Justin B. Schmidt, Paul R. Smith and Nicholas Wilt. The latest: 21- year-old Marine Lance Cpl. James R. Phillips, a 2001 Durant High graduate who was raised in the Turkey Creek area, near Plant City, was killed two days before Christmas, west of Baghdad.

"They're the real heroes," said Bucs linebacker Derrick Brooks. "Pat Tillman was one of them, devoted to his country."

To the last full measure.

It's easy to depersonalize war. The names of the dead fly by. Do we see them?

For some of us who travel for our jobs, our sole contact with the war is at airports. We see the desert fatigues. We see kids so young their uniforms look like Christmas presents, boys and girls off to play soldier.

Or it's a father heading to a plane, with his young son clinging to his leg, fighting tears. Or a commercial jet landing, with soldiers aboard, and it's Veterans Day. The flight attendant says we owe some thanks. Passengers undo their seat belts, stand and applaud. We don't know the soldiers' names. We only know we want to beat them to baggage claim to see their eyes when they spot the WELCOME HOME DADDY and WELCOME HOME MOMMY signs.

Laughing, Losing

Pat Tillman gave this war a name and a face, though America's most famous volunteer shunned pretense; he just wanted to fight for what he believed in. He and his younger brother Kevin became "Black Sheep," the elite 2nd Platoon, A Company, 2nd Battalion, 75th Ranger Regiment.

During his last firefight, in gathering darkness and confusion, separated from elements of his platoon, Spec. Pat Tillman was hit by American machine gun bursts as he tried to identify himself as a friendly. He died where he fell.

At a memorial service in San Jose, Calif., where he grew up, family and friends remembered a self-effacing man who charged at every day - and a gloriously free spirit. Pat Tillman is godfather to Alex Garwood's youngest son, along with another male friend. With no godmother, Pat decided to show up at the baptism dressed as a woman.

"He just wore a skirt and a little tank top," Garwood said Tuesday. "And I think he had a purse, as I recall. That was Pat making you laugh and making fun of himself. He made you feel alive. ... I feel like I was reading a great book and didn't get to read all the chapters."

The Bucs meet the Cardinals on Sunday to end the season. And the losing.

What losses are those?

Derrick Brooks talks about his first cousin, Darrell Brooks, who has served Army tours in Kuwait and Afghanistan.

"Not a scratch on him, thank God," Brooks said.

The Pat Tillman Foundation (pattillmanfoundation.org) targets college students and develops leadership skills to solve problems. Each NFL club has a player's wife who spreads the word and helps raise funds. The Bucs' leader is Heidi Dilger, wife of tight end Ken Dilger. She remains in awe of Pat Tillman. And others like him.

"He gave up so much," Heidi said. "An amazing man. They're all amazing."

Tuesday, James Ronald Phillips' dad recalled a great kid who loved to hunt and fish. James played Little League Football for the Turkey Creek Trojans.

They're all Pat Tillman. They're all our sons and daughters, fathers and mothers. So many chapters, unwritten, unread.